Now We Are Slightly Less Tied

At this point, everyone in the league is either at 1-2 or 2-1. There is still no telling who’s really going to make it to playoffs, so fret not if you are in the former group.

It didn’t help that this was a pretty weird week for Fantasy Football players everywhere. I mean, Daryl Richardson didn’t even play. The Giants laid a giant egg. Shiny top QBs from the 2012 season, like Kaepernick, Flacco and Eli Manning, were total duds and newcomers like Terrell Pryor and former 3rd Stringer Brandon Hoyer were major studs. So don’t get too discouraged if your fantasy team failed to perform to your liking this week. Weird things happen sometimes.

What do you mean the Giants lost 0-38 against the Carolina Panthers?!

Anyway, here’s how the week went down for us:

Mary vs. BELT

I got a great head start with Jamaal Charles, who was really the top fantasy performer from the entire Thursday night game. Maria gave a strong counter attack with Cam Newton, who threw for three TDs and rushed one in himself. But alas, her team was no match for Jordan Cameron, who is shaping up to be the second best TE in the NFL right now (after Jimmy Graham, of course, but more on that later). Add great performances from Russel Wilson against the Jags and the still-injured Julio Jones and this was a solid victory for my team.

LHAM vs. EWCC

For a while, it looked like Lauren was going to take this one. LeSean McCoy was really the star of the Eagles’ offense on Thursday night, giving her a strong 25 point start. Then came mediocre performances from both teams. Lauren had Eli Manning, Sue had Colin Kaepernick. Lauren’s Dez Bryant balanced out Sue’s Marques Colston. They were pretty much neck and neck until Antonio Brown got two TDs and 196 ReYDS, giving Sue the win.

TD Antonio Brown!

That’s okay, Lauren. Here is some Clay Matthews for you troubles.

KUMA vs. TOMN

Our league’s two autodrafters faced each other for the first time to see who autodrafted better. The answer was Shilpa, mostly because Peyton Manning put together another record breaking performance against the Oakland Raiders on Monday. (He broke Tom Brady’s 2011 record for most TD passes in the first 3 games of a season with 12.) Otherwise, Mike totally had this. Shilpa actually played two players that were out. But I guess that’s the power of Peyton.

BAMF

BULN vs. SHAH

This was a close one! Ashish has Jimmy Graham, undoubtedly the best TE in the NFL. He was good for 38 points. And by double dipping with Drew Brees, he got 35 more points! Jayson tried catching up with valiant efforts from Joique Bell and Calvin Johnson, plus a great performance from the Chicago Bears. But his Monday numbers from Wes Welker just couldn’t make up the difference though. Funny story though – in the Dacuma Family league, Jayson was winning by a slim margin to a girl who was playing Wes Welker. So by losing to Ashish, Jayson won in a different league. Fantasy football problems, man.

Around the NFL

Eric Berry Overcomes His Fear of Horses, Sort Of – Eric Berry is a two time pro-bowler and a great Safety for the KC Chiefs.

He also has equinophobia, an irrational fear of horses. This is a bit of an issue as the KC Chiefs’ mascot was a live horse named Warpaint. NFL Films caught his fear on tape and it went viral. Now NFL Films is at it again with an updated segment delving into Berry’s traumatic childhood that led to this crippling fear and the steps he is taking to combat it.

If there is nothing else you take from this Week’s LM Note, in the name of all things good and holy, you will watch this video. You’re welcome.

Trent Richardson Traded to Colts – This Sunday, Trent Richardson went from being the best offensive player by a mile on the Cleveland Browns to being one of the really good players on the Indianapolis Colts. By trading Richardson for the Colt’s 1st round draft pick (which, given the strength of the team, will probably be mid to late first round), the Browns effectively did this to their 2013 season:

In his 2012 season NFL debut, Richardson finished the regular season 18th in total rushing yards and broke the Brown’s record for most rushing yards by a rookie. Despite his contributions to the team, management conveniently forgot to tell Richardson he was being traded. Richardson found out because his cousin heard it on the radio and told him. So yeah. Nonetheless, Richardson is very much looking forward to his new opportunity. Let’s be real. He got the better end of this deal. And the Browns can continue working on their “rebuilding year.”

Rashad Johnson Lost a Finger – I know the league is focused on concussions and brain safety right now, but holy crap! Arizona Cardinals Safety Rashad Johnson lost a finger. He felt a pain in his hand after tackling Saints RB Darren Sproles, took off his glove, and realized a PIECE OF A FINGER WAS STILL INSIDE. Doctors managed to reattach the finger and will watch it closely over the next few days in case an infection arises. I, on the other hand, will try very hard to forget the image of taking off a glove and realizing you LEFT A PIECE OF YOUR FINGER IN IT. GAAHHHHH. He tweeted photos of the injury, but I couldn’t handle it. Here is the bandaged version:

Jacoby Jones Gets Hit Over the Head With A Champagne Bottle By a Stripper Named Sweet Pea –  There isn’t really much else you can add to that, except that it was on a party bus for his teammate’s birthday. Coach John Harbaugh is not amused. And neither is the stripper, who claims that she and the rest of the girls were waitresses. Here’s the photo. Discuss amongst yourselves.

She’s the blonde bringing you that Nene Leakes realness.

Anyway, don’t forget to mind your bye weeks, or I will send Gronk after you. You know he’s better now, right?

And speaking about “Bye Bye Bye” weeks, you know Joseph Fauria practiced this in the mirror just in case he ever made a touchdown?

Apparently, when he was playing flag football as a kid, he would do the Macarena. Jimmy Fallon actually promised to donate $10,000 to charity in the name of the first player to do the ‘NSYNC endzone dance, so now the Make-A-Wish foundation will be getting a lovely donation.

On that note, I hope you guys get to do your victory dances this weekend. And then you cherish those moments in the wake of what will inevitably be a tragic ending to Breaking Bad.

 

 

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